The Perfect Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's
Christmas Party.

Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like
alcohol at all.

He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he
sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table
and, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean.

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he
sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written
in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in
lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to
make you your favorite dinner
tonight. I love you, darling!
Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A. M., drunk and out of your mind.
You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw up in
the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect
order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting
for me??"


His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and
when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone,
lady, I'm married!"